I’m not scared but…

Writing 101 Day 17: Your Personality on the Page
Today’s Prompt: We all have anxieties, worries, and fears. What are you scared of? Address one of your worst fears.
Today’s Twist: Write this post in a style distinct from your own.

What am I scared of? I don’t know. I know I’m not scared to die. Of course, I don’t wish death upon myself but I accept that it is inevitable and it would happen at the most unexpected time. Hoping it won’t be gruesome but that’s just what I’m praying for.

I love horror movies and the novels of Stephen King. So I guess I’m not really scared of monsters, and ghosts, and evil beings whether they’re real or not. Maybe because I haven’t really experienced anything paranormal but again, that doesn’t mean I’m keen at encountering the bizarre. Seems exciting though.

I’m an adventure junkie. I tried zip lining and free falling at 60 feet. Bungee jumping and sky diving are some of the extremes I would like to try out. Just thinking about it makes my feet shake but I believe I have enough courage to push through with it. So that takes off fear of heights from the list.

They say, glossophobia, the fear of public speaking is even ranked higher than death. But I was a member of Toastmasters International, an organization that helps you improve your communication, public speaking, and leadership skills. As a teacher and performer, I got used to standing in front of a lot of people. Pre-talk jitters would always be there but mostly, I’m not that self-conscious and I don’t care too much about other people’s opinion about me.

I must be afraid of commitment because I’m single? But I say it’s a choice. On that note, I do a quick Google search of most common fears and fear of intimacy came up and it got too close for comfort. It’s not sexual intimacy. It’s about sharing yourself, revealing your deepest thoughts, feeling deep love. In my defense, it’s not that I’m scared nor against it. I don’t see the point of it. Does that make me cold-hearted? A robot? Is that even enough justification or excuse? Or am I just running away from this particular fear?

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Author: Ryan Bestre

Environmentalist. Teacher. Writer.

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