I cried while watching “To Kill A Mockingbird.”
I’m not a crier. I was told I’m cold-hearted because I don’t easily show my emotions. I don’t think the film is even a tear-jerker. But for some reason, tears suddenly started falling.
Is it a sad realization of man’s cruelty? I must have been wrong believing that we are naturally good. It seems like it’s the opposite.
Sometimes it’s better to feel numb. To not care. Nothing can be done about it anyway.
But then again, you see acts of kindness going viral online. What’s so fascinating about being kind? Perhaps this is a revelation of our true selves. That kindness is not an afterthought but is a second nature or first nature if there’s such a thing. Deep inside, we are actually kind people.
Harvey in the movie, “The Dark Knight” said that you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Life has a way of bending you to your limits. Until you finally give in to the other side. Where it’s much more convenient. Or less painful. Or would make you feel nothing at all. And that’s the danger. When you reach the point of not caring. Because by then, you have nothing to lose. And you do whatever pleases you regardless of consequence.
I wonder why I cried that evening. I hope it’s because I still give a damn.