New Year, New You: 4 Changes You Could Make this 2017

You probably heard of the claim that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Apparently, that’s a myth. A study says it’s two to eight months. But that’s not what matters, really. It’s the decision and conscious effort to make changes for the better. Here are four resolutions or new habits you may want to take on this year. These are not new. You’ve heard of them several times but hey, repetition is one way of driving the message home.

  1. Be happy.

Don’t we all want that? Happiness is a choice but with all the negativity and bad things happening everywhere, how can one remain hopeful? Be contented. Be grateful. Look at the glass half full. Focus on your sphere of influence and things you can control. Live in the present. Choose happiness.

  1. Be creative.

Creativity is less prioritized over logic and Science. But it’s what feeds our soul. So sing, dance, write in your journal, take photos. Let your creative juices flow. These activities not only distress but they keep you alive.

  1. Be kind to your body.

Eat well. Remember that you are what you eat. Eat less meat and more veggies. It’s good for your body and the environment, too. Avoid softdrinks and junkfood. Opt for real food instead of processed ones. Aside from having a healthy diet, get plenty of exercise and enough rest.

  1. Be involved.

You’ve ranted about all the problems of the world. Instead of just complaining, why don’t you do something about it. Volunteer and take part in initiatives that tackle different issues. Why not start caring more for the environment. Consume less, use reusable bags when shopping, say no to straws and plastics, don’t litter, and plant trees. The world becomes a better place if we just do our part.

It takes two to eight months to form a habit. It’s a good thing we have the whole year to try.

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Birthday Thoughts

A lot of people look forward to their birthdays because it’s that one day that you get to feel special. You receive presents. People are nice to you. And suddenly, everybody is your friend. I don’t fancy it that much and I dread it a bit. For one, if you’re in the Philippines, you have to treat your friends and family for dinner or something which sort of contradicts that notion that it’s supposed to be your special day in which case they should be the ones treating you. I also don’t like attracting too much attention. In the workplace, I would hope nobody knows about it. I should just take a leave of absence next time. AND for every “Happy Birthday!” greeting you receive, it’s like a taunt echoing at the back of your head saying, “You’re getting older!” Doesn’t bother me, really. Well, maybe just a little. It’s amusing how when we’re younger, we couldn’t wait to get older and now, all we want is for time to stop.

It does feel good when people show their love through messages of affirmation. And Facebook makes this so much easier. I received hundreds of FB notifications, genuine and generic ones. I’m also guilty of this obligatory greeting as FB claims we’re friends. I suppose it’s an attempt of maintaining a connection. We are very much connected, social media-wise but are so personally disconnected. It’s a shame when friendships are reduced to yearly birthday greetings until we stop communicating at all.

I realized my love language is quality time. According to Chapman, there are five types – words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. So more than the kind words and deeds, the presents, the hug, just the time spent with me is enough to let me know that I’m loved.

I am in my early 30s and I feel like I’m settled at this point. Not in the material or achievement kind of way, but you know, as a person. I have a good understanding of who I am, what works for me, what I want in life. I’m more self-aware and I think I’m living a balanced life. But of course, there are still a lot of things to learn and experience, places to visit, and people to meet.

Nowadays, you see all these under 30 overachievers who already built a business empire, are famous, or are super successful. And you ask yourself, “What have I been doing with my life?” I guess celebrating one’s birthday is not so bad after all because it basically is a celebration of life. It’s the best time to look back and reflect on both the good and the bad things that happened to you.

I’ve been keeping a journal for a while now and as a response to the “100 Happy Days Challenge” I started writing things that made me happy in a day no matter how mundane they may seem. I continue doing this up to this time because it’s a great way of reminding me to be more mindful and be appreciative of everything.

So cheers to life and here’s to more birthdays to come!

The Day I Died

This was the day I died. The sun was shining brightly in the cloudless sky. You can even hear faint singing of the birds. It was a good day to die.

I wanted to die peacefully, like most people do. But you can’t really choose now, can you? Once you’re dead, you’re dead. And your preferred way of dying wouldn’t really matter. Just pray it would not be in the Final Destination kind of way.

And so, just like that, I got hit by a car which ended my life. So cliché.

 ***

“Do you ever get that feeling that something is about to end?”

“What do you mean?” my friend, Anna, asked.

“What if I die, like, right now?” Anna nudged me and stared at me as if I’ve gone insane.

“I’m serious! I mean, I just wonder.”

“What’s gotten into you? And what’s up with all these questions?” came the reply.

“Just… nothing. Just a random question.”

“Can we talk about something else? Oooh, I saw Sam yesterday.”

“Who?”

“Samantha! The girl you have the hots for. Sorry, but I think she’s taken. She’s with this impossibly attractive guy… sexy body, great smile, he looks smart, too…”

“Spare me the details.” I interrupted. “Let’s go back to a more interesting topic – death.”

“Death of your heart?” she smirked.

“You’re corny!”

“What?! Heartbreak can actually cause physical pain, you know.”

“Seriously, death is a normal part of life but people avoid talking about it, like what you’re trying to do just now.”

“It makes me sad thinking about it.”

“I think talking about it makes you appreciate life more. Allows you to put things into perspective.”

“Oh yeah? But that doesn’t stop us from doing stupid things, and being mean, and destroying the environment.”

I paused. Anna looked at me curiously. “What are you thinking about now?” she prodded.

“What happens after we die?”

“Nothing. Just poof! Simply the end.”

“I think I prefer believing that there’s life after death. At least you’ve got something to hope for.”

***

Tuesdays with Morrie lamented how everything seems to move on as any normal day despite someone dying. That’s just the way it is. Whether we accept it or not. We’re not going to get out of life alive.

Too bad for me. I won’t be able to tick off items from my bucket list. Wait, I didn’t really have a bucket list. There are still so many things I haven’t tried.

I think the hardest thing is I wasn’t able to say good-bye to the people I love. I just wish they realize that I do love them despite me not saying it enough.

Would it make any difference if I was given more time? Maybe so, maybe not. Well, time is just an illusion anyway.

How am I still having these thoughts? I’m supposed to be dead, right?

Then I started seeing memories, like camera lights flashing. Good, bad, happy, sad. Faces of relatives, friends, enemies (can’t remember why I fought with that guy). I lived a meaningful life. And I guess it’s a good day to die.

Hello 2016 and random musings of some sort

There’s something about new beginnings. A blank page full of possibilities. Where past mistakes can be forgotten, hopefully not repeated. As you look forward to a better year, a better you. New hair, new shoes, new look. Renewed motivation to be healthier, to be smarter, to be kinder.

I went to the gym yesterday. As expected, there’s more people than usual. People who would want to shed out the guilt of overeating during the festive holiday season. Trying to lose weight for health reason is one thing but just to look great? Yeah, that could boost self-confidence and it’s proven how good-looking people seem to be more successful but this is also a reflection of how we haven’t progressed as a society from our fixation towards physical beauty.

The start of the year would be bombarded with self-promises and resolutions. Eventually, we realize it’s not going to happen and maybe hope we’ll get luckier the following year. Perhaps, resolutions are designed to be like that. After all, promises are made to be broken.

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New Year’s Resolutions

But I wish we could promise to embrace simplicity more. I’m glad I turned into a minimalist guy which I guess comes with me being an environmentalist. Life, for me, is better that way. I give away books I’ve read, clothes I’m not wearing, things I don’t use. And I seldom buy stuff. I try to stick to the essentials. Fewer stuff, lesser worries and more time to focus on important things.

It sure would be nice if other people think like me. But that would be boring now, isn’t it? I mean, if everyone’s the same. There’s a reason why we’re uniquely created as we are.

I was told I was boring once. That’s because I haven’t experienced getting drunk, or being in a relationship, or living dangerously. I’m not a goody two-shoes nor a prude. But I choose a less drama, more freedom kind of life. Not the kind of freedom where you do whatever you want regardless of consequence. I have self-control and self-discipline. That’s what separates us from animals giving in to instincts. At least that’s how I would want to live my life, anyway. And I accept that. If there’s one thing I have learned about life, it’s all about acceptance.

I accept myself as I am.

I accept that we are all different.

I accept that there are things that can’t be changed, things beyond my control.

I accept life’s unpredictability – whether something that happens is good or bad, we cannot really tell.

I accept that life goes on regardless of how I feel or the circumstance I’m in.

I accept that my limited understanding is beyond God’s wisdom.

I accept that I can be happy wherever I am.

May 2016 be kind to all of us!

How’s Work?

If we were having coffee right now, I would tell you how grateful I am with my job. Currently, I’m working for a solar energy company which is great because it’s all about renewable energy and I’ve always been passionate about the environment. In the past, I did logistics work for a textile company, did international volunteering, taught English to Korean and Japanese nationals, and taught third graders in a public school. I’ve been all over the place career-wise but it’s good this way as I got to experience a variety of things.

If we were having coffee right now, I would tell you how cool my boss is. I don’t know if it’s because he’s young, almost my age, or because he’s American (you know, how they’re quite progressive with their management style). But he’s so down to earth, very open to suggestions, appreciates the little things you do, completely trusts you, and randomly high-fives you! Which I have to say is the complete opposite of most bosses who gloat their superiority over their subordinates and can be a total prick.

If we were having coffee right now, I would tell you how slow days in the office can be unnerving. I got so used to doing a lot of things that while my present state is a welcoming break, being a restless guy as I am, I feel as if I should be doing more. I’m not complaining, it’s just that this is new to me. But hey, more time to read, to blog, and to think.

Enough about me. How about you, how’s work?

 

31 Random Birthday Musings

  1. Thank God! Still alive and kicking at 31.
  2. Good grief, getting older but hopefully growing wiser, too.
  3. What’s so bad about getting older anyway? When we were kids, we couldn’t wait to be adults. And now, we wish to go back to our younger days.
  4. Well, I look younger than my age so I guess I’m one of the lucky ones.
  5. Still single and loving it!
  6. Most of my friends and batch mates from school are either married or are paired up. This doesn’t bother me. Really!
  7. Okay, it can get lonely sometimes, but I enjoy being with myself and I’m okay with that.
  8. It’s funny how you get to a point where you don’t really care about your self-image and is confident with who you are. So to teens fussing about how to look cool and all, it’s just a phase.
  9. At this age, you’re expected to be established professionally. That’s not necessarily true for me as I deal with opportunities as they come and I try to just follow my bliss.
  10. Living in Manila for three years now has led me to believe that the Philippines is a hopeless case. But whenever I’m back in my hometown, Baguio, I see a little glimpse of hope.
  11. It’s nice to meet selfless individuals who contribute to nation-building and do what they can to make this country better.
  12. There are still good people in the world. You just have to look real hard.
  13. Meaningful conversations are hard to come by nowadays. So when they do come, I treasure the moment.
  14. I get so annoyed with people who are always on their phones even when talking to other people.
  15. A moment can be an eternity. Time is just an illusion.
  16. But the reality is, life is short. So YOLO! Carpe diem! Seize the day!
  17. A constant reminder – don’t sweat the small stuff.
  18. We put too much energy on trivial things that we fail to see what matters most.
  19. I feel like I’ve been through so many things already and yet there are still a lot I haven’t experienced.
  20. I wish to travel more. El Nido, Palawan and Batanes are dream destinations. And I wish to backpack around Europe, too!
  21. Traveling for Filipinos is more of a privilege rather than something we can do anytime we want.
  22. I got to places outside the country not because I’m rich but I was just fortunate to be part of exchange programs and volunteering opportunities.
  23. Spent my birthday volunteering!
  24. They say volunteering is noble. It’s selfless. For others, it’s just for show. Joining in the bandwagon. But I do volunteer because I enjoy it. Isn’t it supposed to be the most natural thing in the world? To help other people?
  25. I noticed how conversations with friends are now about insurance, investments, and stability. Talk about grown-up stuff.
  26. I don’t know why life has to be more serious or boring once you’re older or more mature. Is it because of all the responsibilities? The realities of getting by with meager salary? Living in a dog eat dog world?
  27. And in an effort to complete this list, allow me to include lines from Max Ehrmann’s “Desiderata.”
  28. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
  29. Be cheerful.
  30. Strive to be happy.
  31. Happy birthday to me!