Overrated Love

I don’t understand the appeal of romantic love. You always see movies about two people, finding each other, falling in love, and living happily ever after. You hear songs whining about unrequited love, unfaithfulness, and heartbreak. This so called love has such an impact on people that some are driven to insanity with others resorting to suicide.

It can be difficult to explain. It’s a spark. A funny feeling inside. Maybe like a drug that makes you high. Or destiny working its magic. But it’s all fantasy. A fairy tale far from reality. And it’s milked by the movie and music industries producing films and songs about, well, love. As if that’s the only emotion there is. Money-driven corporations take advantage of this and entice couples to buy chocolates, stuffed toys, and presents during Valentine’s Day and anniversaries. These continually fuel our desire for a happy ending. Feed us the idea that there’s a person meant only for you.

It is human nature to seek that connection. Props to those who find it realizing that it’s not about the perfect match but acceptance of the other person, flaws and all. I wouldn’t want to disregard successful, happy relationships. They, of course, exist. Almost rare, though. Those who weather through the ups and downs. And end up growing old together. Not resorting to irreconcilable differences as an excuse for escape.

I think we should focus more on the practical side of romantic love and not dwell too much on the kilig factor, the romantic excitement. “When we’re hungry, love will keep us alive” IS rubbish! It is a commitment which could eventually lead to babies being born, mouths to be fed, and bills that have to be paid. Add to that the reality that people change, feelings change, and the love of your life can transform into a living nightmare.

But who am I to talk? I haven’t been in a relationship. Friends tease that I might as well get married to a tree. Or they tell me I’m scared of commitments. I thought it’s fear of intimacy. But I realized I have so much love to give that I wouldn’t want to focus that to just a single person.

So while I still don’t get why people flock to the cinemas to watch another awkward meeting-drama in between-happy ending movie; or listen to another singer complaining of a bleeding heart; or post another hugot line (a statement drawn from a deep place); I have to admit that love is a powerful force. It does make the world go round, I just wish people don’t fuss over it too much.


Author: Ryan Bestre

Environmentalist. Teacher. Writer.

6 thoughts on “Overrated Love”

  1. Oh, I hear you. I only ever watch romantic movies if I happen to be in that kind of mood (and there’s usually wine involved and nothing on Netflix).

    I have known many people who are in the worst state of depression when single, but once they are with someone, they flourish as a person. I don’t understand it myself; when I am single I am never more free to be who I truly am!

    Love isn’t that spark. Love is being able to watch someone vomit and not be put off physically. It’s sitting for five hours not speaking to each other while you read, or internet, or just… sit. It’s having a blazing row and knowing that 2 hours later you’ll be snuggled up with a coffee like it never happened.

    It’s nice, but it’s not necessary 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally agree with your sentiments expressed here!
    True love is totally unconditional and extremely rare.
    Good long term relationships last due to good communication, hard work and never taking the other for granted … something many of us don’t have the skills or endurance for.

    Liked by 1 person

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